Maybe the problem is Bush doesn't tick at all. His mechanism is rusted, crusted, and busted.
1. The President should have pardoned Libby before this travesty ever went to trial. He didn't, and, amongst his approvers, his poll ratings slipped faster than that dancing woman can twirl round her pole at the Satin Slipper Supper Club across the state line yonder.
2. Then, after Special Persecutor Patrick Nifong Fitzgerald got Libby convicted in a 'trial' comparable to the Spanish Inquisition, Bush continued to let Libby writhe in hell and public torment.
3. So now, after the US Prison Service has assigned Libby an inmate number and his bags are packed for Federal Prison Camp Kickhiminthepoo, Bush COMMUTES the sentence!
4. He Commutes(!) the Sentence? Predictably, every Democrat and media mugger pastes over Nixon's photo with GW Bush's, while mumbling hoodoo voodoo incantations that they hope will cause Bush's thingy to fall off in his sleep.
5. There is no hell Bush could catch that he isn't already catching if he had Pardoned Libby! Dammit.
6. Oh well, small favors accepted, the prison sentence is commuted. But Libby is bankrupt, has been slimed and maligned for nearly 3 years, owes another $250,000 in fines, is on probation for 2.5 years, loses his law license (and livelihood), and is forever a convicted criminal.
7. Virtually no one with Constituional grounding (i.e. literacy) is happy. Indeed, a vast number (if not all) Republicans are pretty steamed. Just not as steamed as Democrats. Bush is an equal-opportunity-dumb-decision-decider.
And what, pray, does Special Pee Patrick Nifong Fitzgerald have to say? This:
Associated Press - July 2, 2007 10:23 PM ET
WASHINGTON (AP) -Special Prosecutor Patrick Fitzgerald [disputes] President Bush's assertion that the 30-month prison sentence given to former White House aide Lewis "Scooter" Libby was "excessive."
Further, he mumbled, Libby's sentence was comparable to that meted out to other "criminals." Which is to say, if Paris Hilton goes to the Pokey, why so then does . . .
Mark Levin's Absolutely Smashing Idea
But Cheerrup! The Great One a.k.a. Attorney Mark Levin can't be beat for brilliance and entertainment, no matter how low we go.
Were he President Bush, said Levin, he would call a press conference to announce the pardon of Libby AND Bill Clinton. They were both convicted of the same crime, don't you know – lying to a grand jury and obstruction of justice.
Had Bush done that, his Conservative base would have forgiven all, especially since the entire Democrat party and its media-wringing handmaidens would permanently paralyze themselves with hate-induced flutters, vapors, and deprivation of oxygen to the brain. Sealed off from society in their padded cells, these tantrumous gargoyles could never again annoy us.
Yours truly,
Lord Lunch
Hamsammich Castle
Worcestershiresauce, England
